I recently did 1 gram of shrooms and even though it was not such a dose that I would see any visuals, it was a very useful experience for me.
I have been diagnosed with having borderline personality disorder traits, which then lead to depression and anxiety.
Caffeine definitely is not the cause of my BPD symptoms, but the recent shrooms experience helped me realize that I do have a caffeine addiction which negatively impacts my life. I think I have been denying it, saying to my self that – it’s just caffeine, it’s not like I do illegal stimulant drugs. Shrooms helped me accept that brain biochemistry doesn’t care about the legal status of caffeine. I had to accept that even though being completely legal and sold everywhere, I do get mood crashes from caffeine as I would from cocaine (which I tried a long time ago in high school). I can have a few cups of tea in a day, but I do like to drink several in a row, I also like coffee and yerba mate. I have been observing my symptoms for a while and I do notice that I get dysphoric later on in the day if I have coffee or yerba mate in the morning, especially on an empty stomach. I also get more paranoid about being alone, not having any friends (even though I do have several good friends), etc. I knew this for a while, just shrooms helped me accept that I really should do something about the caffeine addiction as it really negatively impacts my mood and sense of self.
I don’t think I need to completely give up tea, but I did have to quit coffee and yerba mate, which actually did help me to have a more even mood throughout the day. I also have been taking CBD oil that I made at home, I think that also helps with anxiety and mood swings. I will still have a few cups of black tea, which I love, but I need to limit myself at only three-four cups of tea per day, not very strong.
This realization might seem not very important, maybe some people expect some enlightenment or spiritual experiences from shrooms, but whenever I do shrooms I actually feel very logical and I am able to see myself from a side. I was able to analyze the correlation between my caffeine consumption and my BPD symptoms in a more unbiased way and this is actually an important realization for me, as BPD symptoms really worsen my quality of life, so if something like reducing caffeine can help – it’s not a breakthrough for humanity, but a big improvement for me. And also hoping to help anyone else reading it affected by BPD – I do believe caffeine might worsen psychiatric symptoms for some individuals.